control

Chapter 2

The world tilted.

I stood there in my own living room, holding a voice recorder in one hand and my phone in the other, while my husband and his mother avoided my eyes.

"Mrs. Carter?" the nurse said. "Are you still there?"

"I'm here," I managed.

"Your husband brought us a recording yesterday. He said he was concerned for the baby's safety. That you'd been... agitated. Aggressive. That you weren't coping."

I stared at Ryan.

He wouldn't look at me.

"Did he now," I said.

"We take these matters very seriously," she continued. "We were required to make a report to child protective services. They'll be contacting you soon."

I closed my eyes.

"Thank you for telling me," I said, and hung up.

The silence in the room was deafening.

"You gave them a recording," I said to Ryan. My voice was calm. Too calm. "You told my doctor I'm dangerous to my own son."

"Emily, let me explain—"

"Explain what?" I stepped toward him, and he flinched. "That while I was up every two hours feeding our baby, healing from childbirth, trying to keep my head above water, you were recording me? Planning to paint me as unfit?"

"It wasn't like that," he said, but his voice was weak.

Diane spoke up from behind him.

"He was protecting this family. You've been hysterical since the baby came. Anyone could see you needed help."

I looked at her. The woman who had just thrown my six-week-old onto the floor.

"I need help?" I said. "You just dropped a newborn baby because he annoyed you."

"He was being difficult!" she snapped. "And you hit me! I could have you arrested for assault!"

Claire stepped forward, Noah still safe in her arms.

"You threw a baby. I saw it. Emily saw it. That's child endangerment. Who do you think the police will believe?"

Diane's mouth tightened.

Ryan ran a hand through his hair, looking from his mother to me.

"Everyone just calm down. We can fix this."

"Fix it?" I said. "How? You already called the doctor. You already reported me. What exactly is your plan here, Ryan?"

He hesitated.

"Mom was going to take temporary custody. Just until you got better. It was supposed to be for the best."

I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"You were going to give my baby to her?"

"She's my mother," he said, as if that explained everything. "She knows how to raise children."

"She knows how to throw them when they cry, apparently."

I looked at the voice recorder in my hand.

"Did you put this in his blanket?"

Ryan said nothing.

Diane said nothing.

I pressed play.

At first, nothing. Then my own voice, tired and strained, talking to Noah at three in the morning. Then me crying in the bathroom, thinking I was alone. Then an argument Ryan and I had three days ago, when I'd finally snapped about his mother moving in uninvited.

All taken out of context. All carefully selected to make me look unstable.

"How long?" I whispered. "How long have you been recording me?"

"Two weeks," Ryan admitted.

Two weeks.

My own husband, sleeping in the same bed as me, holding me when I cried about how hard motherhood was, all while secretly recording every vulnerable moment to use against me.

I looked at Claire. She was crying silently, holding Noah close.

"Get my bag," I said.

Ryan's head snapped up.

"What?"

"Get my bag. I'm taking Noah and I'm leaving."

"You can't do that," he said. "He's my son too."

"Then come with me," I said. "Right now. Leave your mother here and come with us."

He looked at Diane.

She looked back at him, her eyes pleading, manipulative, controlling.

"I can't just leave her," he said quietly.

That was the moment I knew.

Our marriage was over.

Or at least, the version of it I thought we had.

"Then I'm taking him alone," I said.

"You walk out that door and I'll make sure you never see him again," Diane threatened.

I turned to her, and I must have looked different than I ever had before, because she actually took a step back.

"Try it," I said. "I have this recorder. I have witnesses. I have a doctor who just told me exactly what my husband did. You want a war, Diane? You've got one."

Claire came back with my diaper bag and a few of Noah's things.

I took my son from her arms. He'd finally fallen asleep, his little face peaceful despite everything.

I kissed his forehead.

"I will never let anyone hurt you again," I whispered to him.

Then I walked toward the door.

Ryan didn't stop me.

He just stood there, between his mother and the life we'd built, and he let us walk away.

I didn't look back.

May you like

I couldn't.

Because if I did, I might have stayed. And staying would have destroyed us.

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