Chapter 18 - SHAWNA’S FIRST LETTER
The first letter was terrible.
I never showed Keely.
I never intended for discipline to be misunderstood as cruelty.
No.
Into the file.
Two years later:
I made a mistake because I believed Blaire was taking Keely away from the family.
Better.
Still not enough.
Four years later:
I denied Keely meals because I wanted Blaire to experience pressure through her child. I knew it would frighten Keely. I told myself temporary fear was acceptable because the family interest was larger.
There.
Truth.
Keely was twelve.
I asked if she wanted to read it.
“No.”
Fine.
At fourteen:
“Maybe.”
She read.
Then said:
“She knew.”
“Yes.”
“That’s worse.”
“Yes.”
No response.
At eighteen, she wrote one sentence:
I remember being hungry more clearly than I remember your face.
Shawna replied:
I understand why.
May you like
No defense.
That mattered.
