Part 10
The room was quiet again,
it was a blessed,
hushed silence,
the chaos had been excised,
the filth had been purged,
the cancer had been cut out,
I walked to the window,
I looked out at the city,
it was sprawling,
it was vast,
it was indifferent,
it was the perfect place to start over,
my phone buzzed,
it was my lawyer,
it was the call I had been waiting for,
"It's done,"
he said,
his voice businesslike,
his voice cold,
"the accounts are locked,"
"the warrants are issued,"
"the board is convening,"
"the stock is crashing,"
"it's over,
Claire,"
"it's finally over,"
I exhaled,
it was a long,
shaky breath,
it was the exhale of a prisoner who had just stepped into the sunlight,
"Thank you,"
I said,
"thank you for everything,"
"I will be in touch,"
I hung up,
I put the phone away,
I turned back to the room,
I looked at the girl in the bed,
the girl who was not my niece,
the girl who was a plant,
a prop,
a pawn,
"You can wake up now,"
I whispered,
my voice soft,
my voice kind,
the girl blinked,
her eyes fluttered open,
she looked at me,
she was confused,
she was frightened,
she was an actress,
she was a paid professional,
"Is it over?"
she asked,
her voice thin,
"Yes,"
I said,
"it is over,"
"you did a great job,"
"you were perfect,"
"you were believable,"
"the money is in your account,"
"the bonus is as well,"
"thank you for your service,"
she sat up,
she pulled the wires off her chest,
she disconnected the monitor,
she was a stranger,
she was a ghost,
she was a shadow,
"Are you going to be okay?"
she asked,
she was looking at me with pity,
she was looking at me with concern,
I smiled,
it was a sad,
small smile,
"I am going to be fine,"
I said,
"I am going to be free,"
she climbed out of bed,
she gathered her things,
she walked to the door,
she didn't look back,
she didn't offer a goodbye,
she was gone,
and I was left in the wreckage,
the wreckage of a life I had built,
the wreckage of a love I had lost,
the wreckage of a dream I had broken,
I walked to the bed,
I sat on the edge,
I looked at the empty space,
I felt the absence,
I felt the void,
I felt the cold,
sharp edge of reality,
I had won,
I had conquered,
I had destroyed,
but at what cost?
at what price?
at what sacrifice?
I didn't care,
I told myself,
I didn't care,
I repeated,
I didn't care,
I believed it,
or I tried to,
I reached into my bag,
I pulled out a cigarette,
I walked to the window,
I lit it,
I exhaled the smoke into the night air,
I watched it drift away,
like my past,
like my pain,
like my husband,
like my sister,
they were smoke now,
they were thin air,
they were nothing,
and I was everything,
I was alive,
I was standing,
I was breathing,
and I was finally,
May you like
finally,
myself.
