Chapter 12

The first year as a family of four was wonderful.
And chaotic.
And perfect.
Lily was eleven now.
In fifth grade.
She was smart.
Funny.
Creative.
And she was the best big sister.
She helped Noah with his homework.
Well, his "homework" - coloring and counting.
She read him bedtime stories.
She built him forts out of blankets.
She taught him how to ride a tricycle.
Noah worshipped her.
He followed her everywhere.
"Sissy this. Sissy that."
It was adorable.
Ryan and I were stronger than ever.
We'd been through hell.
But we'd come out the other side.
Closer.
More in love.
More appreciative of what we had.
We decided to move to a new house.
A fresh start.
Somewhere with no bad memories.
Somewhere we could build our own history.
We found a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood.
Four bedrooms.
A big backyard.
A tree swing.
Lily's room was painted purple.
Her favorite color.
Noah's room was blue.
With dinosaurs on the walls.
It was perfect.
One day, we got a letter in the mail.
It was from the prison.
From Diane.
Ryan didn't want to open it.
But I did.
I thought we should face it.
Together.
We sat down at the kitchen table.
The kids were outside playing.
Ryan opened the letter.
He read it silently.
Then he handed it to me.
It was short.
"Dear Ryan and Emily,
I've been doing a lot of thinking in here. About my life. About the choices I've made. About the people I've hurt.
I'm not going to make excuses. What I did was wrong. Terribly wrong. I hurt Noah. I hurt Lily. I hurt you. I hurt everyone who ever cared about me.
I've been going to therapy in here. And I'm starting to understand why I am the way I am. My mother was abusive. And I became her. I hurt the people I loved because I didn't know how to love properly.
I know I can never make up for what I did. I know I've lost my family forever. And I deserve that.
But I wanted to say I'm sorry. Truly sorry.
I hope you can find happiness. I hope Noah and Lily grow up knowing they are loved. They deserve that.
Don't write back. I don't expect forgiveness. I just needed you to know.
- Diane"
I put the letter down.
I didn't know what to feel.
Anger?
Sadness?
Relief?
Maybe a little of all three.
Ryan was quiet.
"Do you believe her?" I asked.
He thought about it.
"I don't know. Maybe. Maybe she's finally telling the truth. Or maybe it's just another manipulation. Either way, it doesn't change anything. She's still responsible for what she did. And she still has to pay for it."
I nodded.
"What do we do with the letter?"
Ryan picked it up.
He walked to the kitchen sink.
He lit a match.
And he burned it.
We watched as the paper turned to ash.
"It's over," Ryan said. "She's part of our past. Not our future."
And he was right.
Diane was part of our story.
But she wasn't the main character anymore.
We were.
Our family.
Our love.
Our happiness.
That was what mattered.
That summer, we took our first real family vacation.
We went to the beach.
Lily had never been.
She was so excited.
We stayed in a little cottage right on the water.
We built sandcastles.
We collected seashells.
We swam in the ocean.
We ate ice cream every night.
Lily was fearless in the water.
She loved the waves.
Noah was more cautious.
He preferred building sandcastles.
And chasing seagulls.
One night, we were sitting on the beach.
Watching the sunset.
Lily was sitting between Ryan and me.
Noah was asleep in my lap.
"Mom?" Lily said.
"Yes, baby?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"Do you think Grandma is ever going to change?"
I thought about it.
"I don't know, sweetheart. Maybe. Maybe not. But that's not our responsibility. Our responsibility is to be happy. To take care of each other. To love each other. That's all that matters."
Lily nodded.
"I'm happy," she said. "Really happy. I have the best family ever."
Ryan squeezed her.
"We're the lucky ones, baby. We got you."
That night, as I lay in bed.
Listening to the sound of the ocean.
Feeling Ryan beside me.
Listening to the kids breathing peacefully.
I thought about how far we'd come.
From that terrible Sunday afternoon.
From the fear and the pain and the uncertainty.
To this.
This perfect moment.
This perfect family.
We had survived.
May you like
We had healed.
And we were happy.